I’ve spent the last couple of months or so wondering why I’m blogging.
It’s not that I didn’t have good intent when I started. It’s not that I didn’t know what I was doing. As a matter of fact, I was really excited about writing, blogging, whatever. I loved to get a thought, have an experience or bump into a new discovery I can share. I envisioned I could share something that either helped or entertained.
Either way. It was my way to serve in a fun way.
But somewhere, something not so pleasant happened. I think I got way too serious.
I started listening to the podcast “gurus” and reading what they were all writing. I basically drank the Koolaid. I began to worry about subscription lists and niching down to my underwear. I didn’t feel “serious” enough about what I was doing. I was spending lots of money and way too much time trying to “engage”. Why wasn’t I as “successful” as “they” said I should be?
Also, I was overwhelmed by the tens of thousands of unread emails in my blog’s inbox. I know I would never get to them. Not to mention the multiple “come hither” invitations to subscribe or to buy a course in this or that.
It wasn’t bad enough that I was being targeted multiple times a day by the same people. I was also getting emails introducing me to the same people I was getting the multiple emails from. It’s insane!
In the meantime my real life relationships suffered. I buried my thoughts and life in cyberspace. Hoping to make a difference. Fretting that I wasn’t doing enough. I wasn’t telling the story I was tasked to share.
It was also a way for me to deal with loss.
The tragedies I experienced this year and the lessons learned in my life are worth sharing. But I was too busy chasing the dream. Then when it began to feel inauthentic, I lost interest.
I had to pivot.
So regardless of whether I touch anyone with my blogging or not, I will continue to blog. Maybe someone will read and move on or maybe they will leave a comment. Or maybe they will skip right on over to the latest flavor.
I want to enjoy blogging. I want to enjoy writing. I want to go back to jumping in and out of Nablopomo or Microblogging Mondays like I used to.
And yes. If it touches a life. Heck, if it even gets read. I’m happy.
I resolve to no longer make myself miserable wondering why I didn’t get more “likes” or “shares”. I resolve to quit wondering why I lost a twitter follower. I resolve to enjoy the life I have.
Because, truth be told, it IS a wonderful life.