Single Mom Successful Habit #3: Forgive Yourself and Others

JRosemarie Mothering While Single

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It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.
Maya Angelou

It took me decades to forgive my mother.

It took me about as long to forgive my ex-husband.

And as ridiculous as it sounds, I even resented my grandfather for dying while I was too young. Yes, I was that serious.

Also, I shared the same room with a cousin who told a lie on me. I did not speak to her for two years.

My unforgiveness and resentment caused me to blindly make decisions that brought me much regret. (more…)

Are You Fearful of Letting Go?

It's hard to let go even when they are grown up.

I can’t sleep in an isolated place without pills, earplugs, and both my children in bed with me for fear of scary, feral characters with a hankering for the wilderness.

Mariella Frostrup

Several years ago my two younger sons started staying out late.

For years before that, with the exception of school, they would always be in the house. There was actually a time when I wondered if they would make any friends.

They were each other’s best friend and I was comfortable with that but always knew it would be good if they had outside friends as well.

However, when my youngest started high school they both started to make new friends. Those friends would hang out a the house and I got to know most of them. Some of them even began to call me mom. (more…)

Cheap & Healthy – One Product 3 Uses: Coconut Oil

Living healthy doesn’t always have to be a challenge for the single mom.

Still, there are many ways to cut cost while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  One of the ways I manage to eat and practice healthy habits is by buying quality products (which might be expensive on the surface) that I can use in multiple ways (which essentially is more cost effective).  Below I relate how I use coconut oil to enhance my health inside and out, while saving money. (more…)

Mothering while single: they do grow up

20150408_185026My youngest child is almost twenty years old.  Although it hardly seems that way, it’s been a long time since the dirty diapers, sleepless nights and bouts of ear infections.  Still the experience of raising children while single has left an indelible impression on my life.

Sometimes I look at my sons and wonder to myself “who raised those children”?  Because it’s hard to believe that all those years, amid the chaos of confused desperation, helplessness and hopelessness, came such emotionally healthy and respectful sons.  I always believed that my actions and decisions would have a major impact on the lives of my kids.  The consequences of my decisions were sometimes earth shattering yet positive. Other times they were life changing and downright destructive.  However, I still struggle not to feel guilty about some of the choices I made.  I question whether they would have turned out this way or that way if I had made another choice.  But I read somewhere that “you can’t blame yourself for the actions of your children: you are not that powerful and they are not that weak”.  Still I can’t help but think that when you chose the best route you know, like keeping your children safe from physical and emotional harm, life has a way of rewarding you with kindness.  Kindness for me is having adult children who don’t talk back even when they really could.

Looking back, I’m grateful I had the fortitude to push through the difficult times. Thankful that I didn’t walk out the door, never to return when things got tough.  Eternally grateful that I didn’t drown them in the bathtub.  And know now what I’ve always hoped…that they do grow up.